Devil's Deception:A Divine Comedy
by Laylah
Summary: What happens when Dante poses as Vergil and takes his Lady out on a date? A royal screwup of course. AU, action, romance, humour,bit of everything.Gasp! Oneshot.


**A/N: Hey everyone! -hugs all around yay- Wrote this with the help of 3 red-bulls, so don't sue me -grins- This was actually meant to be a short extension of a chappie for a brother's promise, but Bustahead's comment on the twins switching places inspired me to write this ficlet and making it a one-shot instead. It covers just about anything, romance, bit of action, tension, humour, whatnot. Please enjoy, and if you review that would be nice too!**

Unholy was the only word to describe Dante's mess.

His room seemed to be a giant tipped over rubbish bin. It took exceptional skill on Vergil's part to wade through the sea of empty take-out containers, crushed coke cans with its remaining contents spilled all over the carpet, scrunched up cereal cartons, mouldy pizza crusts, dirty laundry lying in a pile beside the car magazines strewn about. Slipknot, Marilyn Manson and other unmentionable obscure band posters covered the walls entirely, giving the place a hellish feel.

Vergil glanced about in disgust; he didn't want to spend another minute in this pigsty if he could help it. He wondered how his twin could stand it without a gas mask. Dante, as usual, didn't seem fazed at all by the chaos around him, blissfully chewing on a mouthful of cereal, his legs propped up against his cluttered desk, his eyes glued to the TV blaring out random MTV mindlessness, -a bunch of guys in jumpsuits and masks that seemed straight out of a cheesy B grade horror movie, molesting their instruments rather than playing them-

"Would you awfully mind turning that racket down, Dante?" Vergil snapped rather impatiently.

"I would, if I knew where the controller was." Dante dismissed distractedly, his attention still on the TV screen.

"Allow me to remedy the situation for you." Vergil turned off the television, giving Dante an innocent smile that looked particularly disturbing to the younger twin.

Dante sighed heavily and muttered some obscenities, stirring the mushy contents of his bowl, which incidentally resembled anything but coco pops.

"You've got an uncanny talent for spoiling one's fun, did you know Vergil?"

"That's because there's little sport to be doing otherwise. Rest assured, I'm not here for that reason, brother."

"I can't say I'm overly disappointed." Dante smirked.

"It's Saturday night, Dante." Vergil stared at his twin meaningfully.

Dante looked blank for a second, and then beamed enthusiastically.

"You're right! 2 dollar drinks at Love Planet after 10! You're a genius Vergil!"

"Damnation Dante! That's not what I meant!" Vergil seethed. "You're supposed to be taking my girlfriend out tonight!"

The younger twin's eyes went wide and he nearly fell of his chair. Shit! That had totally slipped his mind. Come to think of it, he did agree to pose as his twin while Vergil stayed home to do their assignments.

"You know how wrong that sounds don't you?"

"Come now, brother, we have done this a zillion times before. Surely you're not too timid to actually back down from such a trivial challenge?"

"Yeah but they were just innocent pranks, Verge. We're talking about a full-on date with your girlfriend here man, how can you call that trivial?"

"It's only our second date, really. Once again, we're identical twins, Dant. A lot of people have difficulty telling us apart. She won't suspect a thing. Besides, need I remind you that I need to get those assignments ready by Monday morning? Furthermore, I'd like to also point out that I had to put up with a series of disastrous blind-dates with women of unsavoury character and questionable repute just to humour you? The least you can do is return the favour!"

"Could be worse, Verge." Dante murmured, trying to contain his mirth.

"What could be worse than a blind date at a strip joint?" Vergil asked, deadpan.

"Well, having to wear a gay silk shirt and a tux for one…" Dante grumbled, raking his fingers through his platinum locks. He sighed again; the only way to get his scheming brother off his back was to comply with his plan. He didn't even want to contemplate the sort of girl his serious, sullen twin would date. Vergil wasn't exactly the Casanova material.

"Dante, I am positive Lady would not be overly upset if you didn't wear a tuxedo for the occasion. In fact, you may wear anything as long as it's clean." He wrinkled his nose at the stains revoltingly decorating the front of Dante's band shirt.

Dante's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he struggled to absorb what his twin just said.

"Am I hallucinating or did you actually say you're going out with Lady?" Dante howled in bewilderment, his head swarmed with the images of the hottest, feisty and most unattainable girl at uni. He was suddenly more eager to go through with this charade.

"You need not look so surprised, Dante."

"Surprised? That's putting it mildly, bro." Dante grinned.

"Dante, we are wasting time, unless of course you wish to have a rendezvous with Ms. Marble instead."

Dante shuddered at the sudden mental image of the nasty she-walrus that was their chemistry teacher.

"Yuck! I'd rather eat my boxers!" Dante groaned and whined with a roll of his eyes.

"Dante, then please quit making farm animal noises and get ready!"

Dante, of course, was happy to oblige.

-------------- ---------------- ------------------- ---------------

After a shower and a shave, Dante selected a pair of black pants and a well-ironed dark grey shirt from Vergil's immaculate wardrobe, deciding on a long blue trench coat over it.

Combing his damp hair with his fingers, he proceeded to apply some gel and slicked his silver locks back from his forehead, the way his twin liked it, then splashed on some of Vergil's cologne. He inspected himself in the bathroom mirror; the result was uncanny to say the least. Vergil had been right. Nobody would be able to tell them apart now.

"Damn, I look like a snob." Dante muttered to his reflection, and shrugged. "Mission accomplished."

He eyed the list on the bathroom counter.

Flowers: Check

Chocolates: Check

Gay outfit: Check.

Why the chockies and flowers anyway? Wasn't that taking things a notch too far? Could Vergil be a romantic at heart? Dante dismissed this ridiculous theory, deciding there was nothing romantic about choosing mind-numbingly boring uni assignments over your girlfriend. His brother was too nerdy for his own good.

Dante was working on Vergil's mannerisms with intense concentration when the older twin appeared behind him.

"Dante what's holding you?" He froze, staring at his twin strangely. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think? Practising on that constipated look you've got on your face 24/7, that's what I'm doing!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused. I can't believe you talked me into this Verge. Well, let's get this done then shall we?"

"You sound as if you're preparing to battle the Prince of Darkness, brother." Vergil slowly grinned, leaning against the bathroom wall.

"Who needs Prince of Darkness when Lady's around…?"

"If I didn't know you, I'd say that was fear in your voice, brother. Is mighty, daredevil Dante actually intimidated by a mere human girl?"  
"Bring it on, dude." Dante smirked, securing his twin pistols in the internal holsters of the versatile, voluminous blue trench. _Better safe than sorry._

"Hey, uh, is there anything you forgot to tell me about her? Like pet names and such, so at least I can pretend to know what I'm doing."

"None that I can think of. You will not need those I assure you." Vergil cocked a brow as Dante holstered the pistols. "Just don't act like a clown, keep foul language to a minimum and try to refrain from doing anything dumb, crude and crass that will give away your identity. And remember; look, but don't touch."

"What will I do if she wants to get all touchy-feely?"

"Say that you're in make-out denial, make up something."

"Fine." Dante smirked. "How do I look?"

"Do-able."

"Right, let the good times roll!"

--------------------------- -------------------- --------------------------

"Hi Vergil."

Dante swallowed hard. The irritated tap of her toe and the way her arms were folded beneath her shapely breasts did not escape his notice. But that wasn't the reason his brain had gone all mushy. Hot, had been an understatement. Lady looked infinitely sexy without being trashy; gorgeous in a berry-coloured crop top that exposed her toned midriff, a pleated mini-skirt and lace up crimson vinyl Fuck-me-boots.

Dante took a deep breath to clear his head, and inhaled Lady's delicate, floral perfume instead.

"Hi babe." He said with glacier-blue eyes glazed with desire, then quickly composed himself upon seeing the puzzled frown on her beautiful face.

"Uh, I bid you a good evening, Lady." Dante recovered hastily, pulling out the flowers and the chocolates; hoping she's too distracted to notice his slip.

"That's sweet." Lady said in a sultry voice, leaning in seductively. "Real sweet." Her smile turned frosty, and her expression darkened. "Why don't you shove them where the sun doesn't shine?"

"Whoa! What's up your arse?" Dante began at this totally unexpected reaction, trying to restrain himself. "I MEAN! You're not in the best of tempers tonight, my dear!"

_F-U-C-K! I'm screwing this up majorly_! Vergil impersonation was tougher than he had anticipated. This wasn't going so well…

"It doesn't take a PhD to guess why, after what you did last week. If you think you can suck up to me with a bunch of flowers, you're in for a shock, Vergil!"

"How about chocolates, then?" Dante offered lamely with a forced smile, holding out the daintily wrapped box. _You wait, Vergil…I'm so gonna get your ass for this…_

"How about an apology instead?" Lady glowered.

"Remind me again why I should apologize?" Dante inquired, intrigued.

"I see you suffer from amnesia as well as stupidity? Why, you didn't even let me go halves with the dinner and movie tickets, treating me like some control freak!"

"Is that it?" That sounded like Vergil allright, but still, Dante couldn't believe he was hearing this. "You want me to apologize because I was a gentleman?"

"Gentleman? Since when did the term cover arrogant, macho, bossing-me-around kind of behaviour?"

So, she's got the shits because Vergil wounded her female pride, women's lib be damned! Dante realized he had no choice but to apologize. He could either play the cold, arrogant twin who would sooner die than apologize to anyone, or he could save everyone a headache and patch things up with the hot-tempered girl.

"In that case, I'm sorry, Lady." The sincerity in his voice was part because of the terrible guilt for deceiving her in such a manner.

Her reaction was gold. The tension eased from her delicate features, and her posture relaxed.

_I need to get my ears checked. Vergil actually said it…_

"Well, can I have my chocolates after all?" She asked in a softer voice.

"Knock yourself out.  
Lady's brow arched up delicately as she took the gift wrapped box.

"So, would you like to get something to eat?"

"Sound like a plan." She said.

"Anywhere particular in mind?"

"I thought we were going to have Thai." Lady said thoughtfully.

"Right. Thai it is then."

"Or, we can just go to Bull's Eye, if you want."

"A brilliant notion." Dante gave a semi-grin.

--------------------------- --------------------------- ------------------------- --------------

After placing their order at the bar, Dante and Lady sat down in a booth.

"Didn't know you liked scotch, Vergil."

Dante swore very quietly under his breath; he had momentarily forgotten about Vergil's dislike for hard liquor.

"Thought I'd celebrate tonight." Dante said, hoping he hadn't blown it.

"Celebrate what exactly?"

"Me apologizing, for one…" Dante grinned softly.

"That's right. Bottom's up!" Lady grabbed her vodka-orange and clinked the glass against Dante's.

"Cheers." Dante swallowed a mouthful of scotch and coke.

"Vergil?" Lady set her drink down on the coaster.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you all right?"

"Sure am, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you don't normally drink this stuff, I don't want you to become ill all over me later." Lady said casualty.

It took him a few moments to realize her meaning, and when he did, Dante's heart lurched with tension, excitement racing through him_. Look, but don't touch!_ Vergil's ominous words returned to him with full force that moment.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem." Dante remarked, glancing every now and then to the black leather clad gorgeous woman seated at the bar. There was something…sinister beneath that predatory sensuality…something unclean about her beauty. Dante could have sworn he saw the green cats eyes glinting with an unholy light for a second. An uneasy feeling crept over him, the feeling of de ja vu.

"What are you looking at?" Lady demanded sternly, following his detached gaze to the voluptuous red-head.

"Notice something strange about that hot little red-head over at the bar?"

Hot little red-head? Maybe Dante had succeeded in converting his brother into a total sleazebag like himself.

"Besides the revolting shade of her lips and Morticia-meets-drag queen get up, no, actually."

"Funny, I thought I saw her eyes flash red a second ago." _Inhumanly so. Like a devil._

"Have you been smoking something Vergil?" Lady asked dubiously.

"Not today I haven't." Dante winked, turning his attention back to Lady, who appeared unimpressed in the extreme.

"Relax, Lady. I don't do that stuff."

"So you say."

"I don't need drugs when I'm with a girl like you. I daresay I'm high on you."

"I daresay you're intoxicated already." Lady rolled her eyes at the cheesy compliment and snatched the scotch glass from Dante's hand.

"I was drinking that." Dante said flatly.

"Precisely." Lady glanced at the red-head once more, wondering why she looked so familiar, then the penny dropped. "You know what; I think I've seen that woman before…with Arkham. I remember her giving him this weird occult book."

"Who's that?" Dante asked without thinking.

"I thought I told you about my father, Vergil." Lady was quiet.

"Oh yeah."

"That's it!" Lady fumed suddenly. "I think I've had enough horseshit for one night, just fess up would you? I hate guys who think they can beat me around the bush!"

"Settle petal. What's that supposed to mean?" Dante asked carefully.

"You've gone all distant again, Vergil. All I get from you is mixed messages. All chummy one minute, and cold the next. Why can't you just be straight with me?"

"Wait a minute…You're not actually jealous by any chance, are you?"

"I can't believe you even have the nerve to suggest such an absurd thing. Egotistical, AND delusional, and a scoundrel on top of that. Tosspot!"

"Okay sweetheart. You can stop tourreting now." Dante tried to keep a straight face. She _was_ jealous.

"You can go to hell!"

Dante didn't pay much attention to the comeback, watching the red-head make a graceful exit through to Love Planet, throwing Dante a challenging glance over her shoulder; with a silent warning of her cats eyes. He hastily got up and got around the table, grabbing Lady's hand as she too, rose in alarm.

"What's wrong?"

"Shall we dance, Lady?" Dante followed the woman into the strip club…dragging Lady behind him.

Love Planet was a stuffy den of shadows and depravity beneath ultra violet lights where men and women gyrated against each other to the deafening beat of trance music, sleazy patrons ogling the strippers on stage making vigorous love to their dancing poles.

The crowd covered a wide range of clientele; from middle-aged businessmen to beefy, mean-looking bikers and tattooed punk rockers, handful of Goths and emos, faces lit up weirdly by the flashing disco lights.

Dante pushed through the crowd on the dance floor, Lady stumbling in after him, nauseated by the stench of sweat, cheap alcohol and cigarette smoke. People were pushing and shoving in every direction, and Lady held onto Dante for dear life. Dante held her hand firmly, lacing his fingers through hers, shielding her from the ecstasy-ridden frenzied dancers with his broad frame.

Dante's narrowed eyes were intensely, sharply blue as he searched the club for a sign of the woman. He felt the familiar prick at the base of his neck, instinct guiding his gaze upward to the second floor. He saw the woman staring down at him with a cold smile, turning to disappear through the scarlet curtain that separated the private booths from the main area.

The woman paused for a second, glancing again over her bare, pale shoulder toward Dante, beckoningly. In that split second, Dante saw through the mask.

He saw her face melt and distort; her alluring features warping into that of a monstrous, demonic distortion sans a nose, with sunken black slits for eyes and a fanged mouth.

Dante's first instinct was to follow the demon straight away, anger and promise of vengeance sending wave after wave of adrenalin through his system. In other circumstances, he would have, but his intuition told him this wasn't a good time to barge in after her with guns blazing. He could not jeopardize Lady. He gloomily wondered what Vergil would do right now.

_Too bad. I'm not going to risk her life, revenge will have to wait._

"Come on, let's get out of here." He said, looking every bit the brooding older twin now with that serious expression.

"I thought you wanted to dance." Lady shouted over the din, grimacing at the slick, sweaty bodies pushing past her.

"How does getting some fresh air sound?"

"I think I'll vote for that."

-------------------------- ---------------------- ------------------ ----------------

The darkness of the 13th Avenue was oppressive despite the street lamps, which were eerily dim to begin with. Shadows stretched with unnatural grace across the soaring, semi-derelict buildings sticking out of the dull concrete like giant tombstones.

Old newspapers and shopping bags rustled to the wind. Few hobos who were camped out next to the dumpsters in a narrow alley watched the pair amble down the street through slitted eyes, a trail of smoke wafted from the faceless shadow of a hooker standing near a lamppost.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lady inquired in a lowered voice.

Dante walked absently beside her, her soft hand still firmly lodged in his firm grasp.

"Love Planet's much too seedy for my tastes."  
"It's that woman, isn't it?" Lady was watching him speculatively.

"This whole thing goes way back. I've seen her kind before, years ago, when my mother died."

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking, that is…" Lady glanced at him sideways, nibbling on her bottom lip.

"No dramas." Dante gave an easy shrug, speaking without reluctance or hesitation whereas Vergil would have gone all stiff and cold and told her to mind her own damn business.

"Ma died when my brother and I were young. She was murdered."

"Vergil, I'm so sorry I brought it up…" Lady touched his arm lightly in sympathy. She could very well relate to his loss.

"It's going to sound like some lame cliché but she's always with me, you know?" Dante idly brushed his fingertips over the crimson pendant hanging on a silver chain around his neck.

Lady glanced at the personal memento, then back to his face.

"I understand. It must be painful for you still though."

"Of course. It was years ago, but I never really got over it, I don't think. At least not until I find her murderers."

"Does it ever bug you that Dante seems to have got on with his life?" Lady asked in a soft, faintly bitter voice.

"Dante just hides his grief better, I think. He's not overly morbid about the whole thing, but I'm working on it."

Lady smiled slightly at the light-hearted remark, but suddenly grew serious.

"And you thought the woman back at the club was one of her murderers?"

"Couldn't say for sure, I didn't get close enough to check…But she bore a resemblance, yeah." A darkened look crossed Dante's face.

"This can't be good. I think we should go back, luckily she might still be there." Lady's bi-shaded eyes blazed blue-brown indignation.

"I don't think that's a sound idea."

"You're entitled to your opinion."

"Look, Lady, this is my family business. I don't want you to get involved." Dante halted and turned to confront her.

"Tough shit. I already am."

"Don't be so obstinate, woman! I just don't want to put you in danger, all right? I'm not losing you either!"

Lady stared up at him silently, deeply annoyed, deeply flattered.

"Thanks, but you of all people should know by now I can take care of myself, Vergil."

"I'll try to remember that." Dante smiled lazily.

"I don't like that tone, mister."

Really? I thought you were rather fond of it." His smile suddenly turned dark and sensual.

"You're a complete tool sometimes!"

"Only sometimes? Wow, we _are_ making progress aren't we?"

"Just remind me again why I agreed to go out with you!" Lady rolled her eyes.

"Because I'm irresistible?" Dante bent his head low to whisper huskily in her ear.

"Now that's rich!" Lady's voice stern, but her body trembled, her face flushed.

"Well, you're here with me, aren't you?" Dante brushed his lips lightly over her neck.

"Unfortunately so!" Lady hissed softly,

"I love it when you're all worked up like that, gets me all hot." Dante whispered before trailing his lips up to her jaw line, inhaling her scent deeply.

"Um, you okay?" Lady asked tentatively, sliding her arms around his neck to pull him close. She had never desired any man like this before. She reeled from the sensation, and leaned into his embrace in soft compliance.

_No, I'm not okay. I want to touch you all over, kiss you senseless and plunder that soft body of yours over and over, but I can't because you're my brother's girlfriend._

"Yeah, just a little hot." Dante pulled back, the thought was enough to kill his appetite.

Lady put her cool hand on his smooth cheek, still disoriented from the haze of lust.

"You're burning. You're not getting sick are you?"

_The only thing I'm getting sick of is this goddamned deception._ Blue iced eyes then settled on a flitting shadow a few yards down the alley. He stilled.

"Keep walking. We are being followed." Dante ordered in a hushed, discreet voice.

"What?" Lady blinked.

"No time to explain. It's that woman from the club." Dante tugged on her hand , about to commence walking, then he came face to face with the demon.

She cackled like a hyena, a ball of yellow electricity shimmering menacingly in her hands.

"I could believe the Son of Sparda could be a betrayer, a traitor, and a deceiver. But a coward? Shame on you." The demon woman clicked her tongue.

"GET BACK!" Dante stepped in front of the startled Lady. There was no time to draw his guns, it all happened so suddenly, like a nightmare.

Just when Dante pushed Lady out of harm's way, the crackling demonic energy hit him in the chest, hurling him across the street, where his violently convulsing body smashed against a dumpster and lay still after that. Promptly, the demon stepped into the shadows and vanished.

"OH MY GOD!" Lady ran toward Dante without the slightest care for her own safety, kneeling beside him and placing his head gently in her lap, her face crumpled with concern.

"Shit! Open your eyes goddamnit! Say something!" Tears stung her eyes.

Silver lashes fluttered open, revealing the icy, lake-blue irises shimmering with an odd energy.

"Are you all right?" Lady studied the hard, clenched jaw, the dark anger and immaculate life-force behind his eyes, and the silver locks that fell over his eyes…

"I'll live. A nasty hole in my shirt was the extent of the damage, I think."

"If you ever play Galahad around me again, I swear I'll kill you myself!" Lady bristled, holding him tight.

Dante savoured the attention for as long as he could, basking in her sweet warmth and tight embrace that covered him like the wings of an angel.

"How are you feeling?" Lady whispered softly.

"Peachy." Dante broke the physical contact reluctantly and straightened, examining the ruined shirt. He had a lot of explaining to do tonight. Lady glanced at the front of his shirt, which was completely singed and smouldering, but the muscled flesh beneath was unscarred and smooth as ever.

"Listen, I don't think it's safe to hang around here, I'll drop you home."

"No need." Lady smiled to herself as she hailed a cab. "Besides, drink-driving is illegal in this country as far as I recall."

"Fair enough. Prank me when you get home."

"I'll think about it." Lady grinned, raising herself on tiptoe and caught his breath in her mouth, kissing him deeply, longingly. She pulled back with a faint chuckle.

"Allow me." Dante opened the cab door for her, Lady eased herself in gracefully. Dante shuddered, every cell in his body still pulsing with her lingering nearness. His smile as he waved at her, was a jester's smile, concealing the deep sorrow within. _So, the fairy-tale is over, get over it Dante! Don't you always?_

"Hey Dante?" Lady suddenly poked her raven-haired head out of the cab window.

"Yeah?"

_Shit! Now I've done it!_

He winced at his stupidity. Wait a minute...He couldn't believe he fell for that. She knew. Maybe she knew all along and played him for a fool…Dante sighed forlornly; he DID have a lot of explaining to do indeed. Strangely though, she didn't look pissed off or anything, which made him even more wary.

"We have to do this again sometime. Oh, and give my warmest regards to Vergil when you see him, tell him that his insult to my intelligence will be repaid with interest." Lady blew him an air kiss, and the taxi sped off through the traffic.

Dante's mouth curled in a wide grin. He had a feeling the party was just getting started.

"You bet." He whispered to the wind, and tossed his silver head back in laughter.

**-FIN-**


End file.
